You will inevitably sit on something while getting ready.
You will get in the car, and drive far away to your yummy dinner location.
It will be 107* outside, so you will make your hubby check for sweat marks.
*Heck, you are pregnant after all.*
When he checks out your bum he will then say, "It's fine, wait... what is that?? Did you poo yourself?!"
You will be mega embarassed in the Short Pump parking lot.
You will jump in the car and insist that you have not lost control over that bodily funtion. That you must have sat in something.
You will comb the car, looking for the culprit.
Eventually, your hubby will say, "Oh!! Weren't you sitting on that towel while you did your makeup?"
You will realize that you used that towel to wipe makup off of the counter the day before.
Whoops. Hmm... I guess I need to do laundry more often.
You will then spend 10 minutes in the 107* car debating on what to do next.
Eventually you decide to run to Target.
*Oh Target, thank you for never failing me.*
You will sit in the car while your hubby goes inside and attempts to pick out a pair of maternity shorts that are modest, fit, match your outfit and aren't super expensive. All just by looking!
When he comes outside, you will be thrilled that he was successful. And although the shorts are a bit shorter than you'd normally wear... now that you've changed your clothes in the car, under a quilt, on a 107* day, on your birthday... you just want to go to dinner and don't care!
Lesson learned, NEVER NEVER NEVER wear white shorts on your birthday.
And ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have your hubby check out your butt before you leave the house!
