Thursday, July 22, 2010

Nobody Warned Me...

I'm completely convinced that there is a club for all pregnant women that I wasn't invited to. Nobody told me that cute maternity clothes are a myth unless you are independently wealthy. Or warned me that you will get the flarties at the worst, most embarrassing possible times, (ie: while giving a Relief Society lesson).

I'm 100% sure that there is another hoax/conspiracy going on that nobody has filled me in on.

Please tell me why they tell you to drink INSANE amounts of water...



But nobody warns you...



That in addition to wielding a Flame-Thrower that is tossed up your throat about 8 million times a day (hello heartburn), somehow each sweet little mango giggles as they take away all control over bodily functions. Most importantly at this point... the ever-essential function required to take care of all the excess fluids that are being forced into your body.



Dear Bean:
I know you're worth it. But must you dance on my bladder every minute of every day & night? I love you anyway Sweet Pea. Mommy's going to make an unnecessary bathroom run, 'just in case'.

2 comments:

  1. Oh girl I get an insane amount of gas when preggo. Poor thing. It will get better. Not the kicking on the bladder though that just gets worse. Try not to eat then lay down that is punishment. I eat tums when heart burn strikes I have also tried a mint flavored gum and that helps too.

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  2. Hahahaha hilarious....love it!!!

    ReplyDelete

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